Dear Annie: I’m married to a man who repeatedly takes other women out to eat

Dear Annie: I am married to a man who thinks it’s OK to take other women out to eat repeatedly, at times, monthly. He pays the tab for dinner. He usually pays when we go to dinner, too, but I am required to pay half of all the other bills. He says these women make less money than him, so he should pay, but I make much less than him, too. He is a physician and makes good money.

I am not invited to any of these dinners. He says he should be able to go out with these friends because they used to work together. He stays in contact with them by text and talking. He never has a conversation with them when I am present. He has the notifications turned off on his phone so it doesn’t show who is texting him. He gets angry if I even look in his direction when he gets a text message. He keeps his phone and computers locked. I do not have access to the phone bill.

He says I am being jealous when I get upset. I don’t believe many wives would allow their husbands to go out alone with other females. This is destroying our marriage. Am I overreacting? -- Brokenhearted

Dear Brokenhearted: You are not overreacting. Anything that makes you uncomfortable should warrant an open, honest conversation with your husband at the very least. Instead, he is gaslighting you, maintaining inappropriate relationships with other women and deflecting any responsibility in how it makes you feel -- and saying the problem is that you are being jealous. Unbelievable. Couples therapy would be an excellent place to explore the potential for repairing the destruction his behavior is causing.

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